Spring Frolics
by Koko-chan1
Summary: Tenth in the Harlequin Series. The Black Dragon needs a date.


**Spring Frolics**

 **-by-**

 **The Blue Spanch and Koko-chan**

ooooo

 **A/N: Late again, but this one was truly just because work does not believe that I should have a life outside the job. This one is just a fun little short that originally came up due to a conversation about the behaviors and life cycles of dragons. And the fact that we just couldn't stay serious about anything. Ever.**

ooooo

"Guys, you have got to see this!" Botan giggled.

What is it, Botan?" Yuusuke asked.

"C'mon, I'll show you." She said, disappearing around the corner, prompting the others to follow.

For anyone else, wandering through a thronged marketplace on a shopping trip with the Angel of Death would be mind-bogglingly surreal. For the Reikai Tante, however, it was par for the course. They were looking for birthday presents for Hinageshi, whose hundredth birthday was coming up in the next couple of weeks.

Botan led them to a small, recently-opened shop half a block away and pointed triumphantly to the display in the window. "Check this out!"

"Dolls?" Kuwabara asked, puzzled at Botan's excitement.

"Kuwabara, look at that!" Kurama said, gripping Kuwabara's shoulder and indicating a figurine.

Among the traditional dolls in their brightly-patterned kimonos, a perfect replica of Yukina and Kuwabara cuddling on a couch smiled gently at each other. To its right, a white kitsune leaned insolently on its stand, examining a bit of jewelry that had to have been stolen. Jin was making a face at them from behind a disgusted-looking Touya, and Koenma sat imperiously at his desk. Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Kurama, and Hiei gave each other a long look and pushed open the door. Inside was more of the same; beautifully constructed emperors, empresses, geishas, samurai, and more lined the shelves and display tables, and scattered among them were far more familiar figures.

"You get the feeling that someone we know runs this place?" Yuusuke said, jerking his thumb at a figurine of the Harlequin, complete with pie and rubber chicken.

"Very likely." Hiei replied, examining a replica of the Piper, "Weenie here doesn't show up in human folklore."

"Nor do we." Kurama agreed, taking a doll that looked just like Hiei off a shelf.

"Good afternoon, sirs and madame," a familiar voice came from the back of the shop, "may I help you with anything?"

The newcomer was as unusual as his merchandise. He was taller than Kuwabara and very strong in an understated sort of way; muscled like a dancer instead of a weightlifter. He was also an albino: Ice-pale skin and shoulder-length hair so white that it gleamed like silver, pulled back in a ponytail. A grey eyepatch obscured his left eye while the right one gleamed large and brilliantly red. He dressed in bleached jeans and a pale blue tank top; his face was completely expressionless. There was a peculiar grace to his movements- it was almost like watching a computer generated image. He held in his hands another couple of dolls, one of Kurama in a gilded-peony tunic, and one of Botan on her oar.

"Vanguard?!" Yuusuke said. "What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like?" Van said with a smile that looked faintly alien on him. "I'm making and selling dolls for a living. Do you like them?"

"They're magnificent!" Botan said, fascinated by her portrait. "You're very good."

"Thank you. I like to do fine work once in a while, especially of those whom I know." Van replied pleasantly.

"That still doesn't tell us just why you're here, Van," Yuusuke said, "You never do anything without a reason."

"Quite true." Van admitted as Hiei, attracted by the fancy fabric of its tunic, picked up the Kurama doll. "To be honest, I didn't mean to come here at all. I went out one night to fix the roof of my bunker during the tail-end of High Tide and the whole Land collapsed right under me. I landed about a mile offshore of Tokyo and decided to try out a human shape for a while. I needed a vacation anyway."

"So you opened a doll shop." Kuwabara sounded unimpressed, even as he picked the Yukina doll out of the window display.

Van shrugged. "I needed something innocuous to do, and this was perfect. By the way, I do expect you to pay for those. As a human, I have special needs, you know."

"Sunscreen?" Yuusuke smirked.

Van shook his head. "Rent, taxes, and motor oil. All right, so I'm still mostly a machine. Some things just don't translate."

Their discussion was interrupted when Botan let out a piercing shriek. "Van! You actually made a Hunter doll?! What were you thinking?"

Sure enough, looming menacingly among a display of ninja dolls was a twelve-inch-tall figurine of the Hunter. It looked far too real for comfort, even for something made out of harmless cloth and porcelain.

"Believe it or not, that creature had its good points, so I made myself a copy." Van replied uneasily. "Even though, I think I made it too lifelike. Nobody will buy it, so it's become sort of a watchdog. Every morning I find it in a different place around the shop."

The Spirit Detectives stared fearfully at the spooky little thing. "So," Yuusuke said, half-jokingly, "has it caught anything yet?"

"I'm not sure." Van said, not joking at all. "Last Tuesday, I found the back door jimmied off its hinges. Inside, most of the displays had been messed up, and there were a lot of bloodstained rags on the floor. Come to think of it, there was a blood trail leading back out of the back door too, and Hunter here was out in the middle of the floor with a bit of rag clutched in its fist. I never did find the burglar."

Kuwabara swallowed hard. "Remind me never to come in here without permission."

"All right. Now, did you want to purchase anything?"

ooooo

In the end, Botan purchased a lovely geisha for Hinageshi, Kuwabara bought the Yukina-and Kuwabara set piece -much to Hiei's disgust-, and Kurama bought the two dolls he and Hiei had picked out. On their way out, some of Kurama's classmates passed by and saw the Kurama doll clutched in Hiei's fist. "Oh, look!" One of them cried, "A doll of Shuuichi! Kawaii! Who made that?"

"Van did." Hiei muttered as they crowded around him for a better look. "In that shop."

"I have got to have one!" Another young lady declared, and led the pack into Van's store, where they bullied the hapless robot into making them some dolls, too.

"You're a popular man, Kurama." Botan teased.

"I'm taken." Kurama replied stiffly, putting an arm around Hiei.

"Stupid fox." Hiei sniffed, right on cue, and watched the play of light on the pieces of a broken bottle with a strange intensity.

ooooo

Later, Kurama noted to himself that anything shiny was catching Hiei's eye. Formerly, the only things that did so were either necessary to his survival or valuable treasures belonging to someone else. It had recently gone way beyond that; anything shiny or sparkly was attracting him now, and he was hoarding whatever he found. Mixed in with the usual pilfered gold, silver, jewels, and wristwatches were broken glass, hand mirrors, the chromed chains off of someone's jacket, tinfoil, and fake jewelry of all kinds. As time went on, Kuwabara's wristwatch often got stolen two or three times a day, but that was probably just for spite. The stuff kept turning up in the damndest places, too; Kurama had found Hiei's treasure troves stuck under the bed, in the closet, in the sofa, behind the refrigerator, in his coat pockets, behind the toilet, et cetera. It was getting worse all the time, too. Hiei kept buzzing in and out of Kurama's new apartment all the time, stopping in only long enough to drop another bundle of stuff before chasing back out again. When Hinageshi's birthday party rolled around, Kurama and the others, who had also noticed Hiei's newest bad habit, had to keep a very close watch on Hiei to make sure that he didn't run off with Hinageshi's presents.

Two days after the party, Kurama invited Van, Yuusuke, and Kuwabara over for lunch and some serious discussion; something was definitely wrong with Hiei. This was immediately evident when they arrived, for the little black-clad fire demon was clambering in through the window, wearing a shirt that jingled when he moved. "It's gotten worse, I see," Van said as Hiei began stuffing his pelf under the rug, "he doesn't even bother to hide what he's doing any more."

Hiei stayed only long enough to snarf down all the cookies before he bounced out the window again and disappeared.

"I'm thinking about taking him to Genkai," Kurama said, pouring tea, "maybe she'll know what's up with him."

"Only if you can catch him." Yuusuke remarked.

"Keep an eye out for my watch, will you? I think he stole it again." Kuwabara complained, holding up his empty wrist. "Rotten little twerp's got a bad case of kleptomania."

Hiei hopped back in through the window, stashed his stuff, and was gone again.

Van sipped his tea thoughtfully. "How long has this been going on?"

"Since we visited your shop for the first time." Kurama replied, "About three and a half weeks."

"And this happens not too long after you get back from that wild fling in the Shattered Lands. Huh." Van muttered, turning the teacup around in his hands. "Does he still have that dragon with him?"

Yuusuke snorted. "He's threatened to use it on Kuwabara often enough. Yeah, he's still got it."

Van considered this silently for a moment, face blank. "I need to talk to him. If I'm right, there could be trouble."

Kurama sat straight up, casting a worried look at the window. "What kind of trouble?"

Hiei jumped back in through the window, stuffed a load of trash and treasure into Van's hip pocket, and dove out again.

Van fished through the junk and handed Kuwabara's wristwatch back to its owner. "Something along the lines of Godzilla on a rampage, perhaps. Was it my imagination, or was something moving under the wrappings on his arm?"

"I didn't notice." Kuwabara said, buckling his watch back on. "Did any of you guys see anything?"

They shook their heads. "Pay attention on the next pass." Kurama suggested.

Five minutes later, Hiei came back, and everyone saw the serpentine form twitching beneath the bandage on his arm.

"That's spooky." Kuwabara shuddered. "D'you think something might be controlling him?"

"You can bet on it." Van replied, standing up.

"Oh, not again!" Yuusuke complained. "Last time was bad enough."

Kurama tried to grab Hiei when he next dropped in, but the little firebaby wriggled like a snake, escaping with ease. The second attempt didn't go any better- Yuusuke was roundly punted for his trouble, and the third attempt was a disaster. Kuwabara managed to knock Hiei to the floor and sit on his head. This, of course, prompted Hiei to bite Kuwabara on the ass. Spitting furiously, the fire demon dove back out the window while Kuwabara clutched his butt and screamed.

"Mind if I try?" Van asked.

"Go ahead." Yuusuke grunted, rubbing his shins where Hiei had kicked him.

"Itai!" Kuwabara groaned.

Van reached into his shirt and pulled out a treasure. It was a palm-sized oval of star opal, charged with positive ki so that it glowed enchantingly with shifting colors. The moment Hiei popped back in through the window, he dropped his latest haul on the floor in a glittering heap, eyes riveted to the gem. In a flash, he zipped over and tried to grab it. Only one problem with this: Van's hand was well above Hiei's reach. Hiei began jumping up and down, going "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" like any small child.

Kuwabara nearly burst a gut holding in his laughter.

Van let him have it and he dropped down onto the floor, gazing into the depths of the stone and making little crooning noises. Van then knelt down beside him and extended one of his long, clawlike blades and carefully slit the wrappings off of Hiei's arm- and uncovered something of a surprise. The long, thin dragon tattoo that had graced Hiei's arm since the Ankoku Bujutskai had become active, twisting and twining around Hiei's wrist like a young boa constrictor. As they watched, it slid up over Hiei's hand to peer at the gem he held, a tiny black dragon inspecting its loot.

"Ah." Van said, sitting back on his haunches. "That explains a great deal."

"What's happening to him?" Kurama demanded.

"Kemuri needs a date." Van replied calmly.

" _What?!_ " Kurama sputtered.

"Let me put it like this: When you went through High Tide to rescue Kuronue, you were exposed to a great deal of very powerful forces; namely, those responsible for getting the breeding season started. This did not bother you guys all that much, since both humans and Yokai are pretty much always in season. Dragons go by strict cycles. Kemuri's cycles have been slowed by his bond to Hiei, but all that Hubward radiation has changed that. He needs to mate, and the sooner, the better."

"Then what is all this thievery about?" Yuusuke asked as Kurama began to bristle furiously.

"The greater dragons attract mates in two ways. They either strut their stuff in front of the females, or try to impress them by amassing huge hoards of treasure. Rather like magpies, in fact. Since there aren't any females to strut for here, he's settled for making Hiei hoard anything sparkly."

Kurama was openly furious now. "And what happens if Kemuri does not get a mate?" He asked in a dangerous tone of voice.

"He'll either go mad and have Hiei screw everything in sight, or he'll go mad and level the entire city." Van informed him. "Maybe both. Kemuri is still young enough for that kind of overreaction, I think."

"Oh, no, he won't!" Kurama snarled. "Hiei is mine!"

The little dragon looked peevishly up from the jewel and hissed menacingly at Kurama, who was completely undaunted.

"Mine!" Kurama insisted.

"Hiss!" Kemuri shot back.

" _Mine!_ "

" _Hiss!_ "

" _ **Mine!**_ "

" _ **Hiss**_!"

"Your mama was an Icedrake!" Kurama shouted.

"Hiss!" Kemuri said, shocked.

"And your father was a conventional freezer!"

" _Hiss!_ Hiss hiss growl hiss snort!"

"Yes, my mother was a bitch, you miserable little iguana reject!"

"SSSSssssssss! Hiss farch yah fizz!"

"And, yes, I am a stinking cur! I am a fox, after all. You'll have to come up with better insults than that, you malodorous strip of crocodile leavings! Hiei is MINE!"

"Hiss!"

Van, Kuwabara, and Yuusuke watched this searing argument with some chagrin.

"Children." Van groaned, rubbing his head. "Why am I always saddled with children? And Kurama's the most mature of 'em. Oh, well. Kuwabara, does Kurama keep a bucket in the house?"

"I dunno." Kuwabara said.

"Go find out." Van directed him. "And when you do find it, bring it back full of water."

Kuwabara wandered out of the room, and returned a few minutes later with a sloshing bucket. Van took it and neatly inundated the argument in front of them.

"Hey!" Kurama protested, shaking water out of his eyes.

"Hiss!" Kemuri squealed in disgust.

Hiei never even noticed.

"That is quite enough." Van said with carefully controlled irritation. "Arguing like this will get you nothing other than another sloshing -with ice, next time!"

Both Kurama and Kemuri gave Van a poisonous glare, which he ignored.

"It is still June, and there is a valley in the Reikai's Mountains of Morning where dragons often come to find mates in this month. I suggest we sate Kemuri's desires before something permanent happens to someone."

"Nobody messes with Hiei but ME." Kurama growled, glaring at the dragon.

"The dragons aren't interested in the firebaby, Kurama." Van said wearily. "He's too little for that kind of nonsense anyway. Now come! I wasn't kidding about the ice."

"I'm gonna get you for this, Van." Kurama said, wringing out his hair. "What have you to say about this, Hiei?"

Hiei glanced up from his stone. "What? Oooo." He crooned, looking back into the shifting colors.

"Aw, man..." Kurama groaned, "I'm losing my lover to a lizard."

Van moved forward to pick up Hiei (since the little guy wasn't going anywhere under his own power), but Kuwabara stopped him. "Hold on, Van, I've gotta try this." With that, he plucked the star opal out of Hiei's clutches and held it up as far as he could reach.

In a flash, Hiei was on his feet and jumping for the jewel, going "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" Just like before.

"I don't think you should be doing that, Kuwabara." Yuusuke warned him.

"Why not?" Kuwabara asked, grinning in amusement. "Van managed just fine, and- _Aaaaiiiieeeeee!_ "

Hiei had just kicked Kuwabara soundly in the nuts. Kuwabara dropped the gem and curled into a tight knot on the rug, whimpering. Hiei sniffed in disgust, recovered his treasure, and started gazing into it again.

"Van managed because he doesn't have anything that can be kicked." Yuusuke said conversationally.

Van inspected the groaning teenager with growing concern. "Hmm. Yuusuke, do you happen to have some of that green salve that Yukina makes?"

ooooo

The sun had just reached its zenith over the mighty peaks of the Mountains of Morning when they arrived, and they did not come to an empty valley! Huge female dragons perched attentively on every rock and ridge large enough to bear their weight, and massive males competed for their attentions everywhere else. The bellows of these impressive beasts echoed off of the surrounding mountains, causing avalanches that filled the background with their rumbling. There was an astonishing variety as well; long sinuous Eastern Wyrms, batwinged Wyverns, big Western dragons with their brightly-patterned scales, even a delicate-looking dragon with butterfly wings.

"Hey, Kemuri," Yuusuke said after taking all of this in, "have a look at that!"

Kemuri took one look at the selection of females and left Hiei's arm so fast he nearly left skid marks, attaining his true form as he did so.

Even Kurama had to give a long, drawn-out whistle of admiration; Kemuri was a splendid beast. A huge, powerfully-built Eastern Wyrm, clad in absolutely pitch-black scales that gleamed with a faint sapphire overtone, crowned with a flowing mane of gleaming dark hair. Deep ruby-colored eyes glared out of a fierce and finely sculpted head, and dark flame trickled from his jaws as he announced his presence to the other dragons with a shattering bellow. Needless to say, the eyes of every she-dragon in the valley were on him.

"Im-friggin'-pressive!" Kuwabara breathed.

Van had been right; the dragons weren't interested in puny humans, so our heroes were free to settle themselves onto a flat-topped boulder to watch the show. "So," Kurama ventured, "what are Kemuri's chances?"

"They look good." Van replied. "He's mature and healthy, and there's a marvellous selection of females today."

"Five bucks says he gets the blue one." Yuusuke said with a smile.

"Naah." Kuwabara wasn't impressed. "That golden one, maybe."

"The green Wyvern with the white stripes is quite an attractive beast as well." Van suggested. "And that orange creature with the butterfly wings is graceful."

"No way." Kuwabara said flatly, getting into the occasion. "Kemuri would smush her. Ten bucks says that purple one with the jewelled scales is the one."

"You're on."

Kurama was smoldering inwardly. Here they were, making bets on his lover's future, without even considering how Hiei might feel about it. Who knew what would happen when Kemuri actually made the choice? Would Hiei be dragged off, body and soul, forever lost in the recesses of the mountains? Kemuri was so twined together with Hiei's spirit as to make them inseparable. Would this event tear them apart? That kind of thing could cause irreparable damage to a person. "Hiei, what do you think about all this?" He asked, desperation coloring his voice.

"What? Oooo."

"Never mind." Kurama sighed.

Not long after that, something momentous happened. Deep shadow fell over the valley for a moment as something blocked out the sun. Something immense was circling in for a landing.

"All bets are off." Yuusuke said, and the others had to agree.

Stunned silence vibrated over the valley as the biggest dragon they had ever seen touched down lightly in the middle of the lek. She paused briefly for maximum effect, head held high, wings slightly spread. She was clad from proud, wedge-shaped head to slender tail-tip in blood-scarlet feathers that seemed to glow in the sunlight, her conformation was lithely perfect, and her attitude was imperial. Gleaming amber eyes surveyed the crowd critically -nothing but the very best would suit Her! At last that critical gaze rested upon Kemuri, who was watching her with his jaw hanging open in awe. She then strode, no, swaggered over to the black dragon, sized him up, and then sat on him, roaring brazenly at the other females to tell them that this one was _Hers_.

"Magnificent!" Van enthused. "I don't think I've ever seen a Greater Northern Feathered dragon of that size before! Absolutely magnificent. Note the depth of the chest, the strength in the flanks, the length of the wings. I bet she flames with the best of 'em, too."

Assured that no other female was going to dispute her claim on Kemuri, the red she-dragon picked him up in her claws and dragged him off to a different valley for some privacy. Kurama glanced uneasily at Hiei, but the fire demon did not so much as twitch an eyebrow at the abduction of his dragon.

"Hiei and his dragon are very alike," Kuwabara noted, "They both seem to attract big redheads."

Kurama gave him a sour look. "You're really pushing it today, aren't you?"

"Yeah." Kuwabara grinned ruefully, and then shot a wary look at Kurama. "You aren't going to kick me, are you?"

There was a small jingling noise as Hiei dropped his star opal. There was a very odd expression on his face. "K-Kurama...?" He stammered, voice gone all funny.

"What is it, Hiei?" Kurama turned quickly to his lover.

"Kurama..."

"What?"

"Kurama... I need to... I need..."

"What? What?!"

"Kurama, _right now!_ "

Hiei lunged forward, caught Kurama by the sidelocks, and dragged the startled Kitsune over to a handy shrub. The sound of ripping cloth and certain X-rated noises emanated from within after a few minutes.

Van, Yuusuke, and Kuwabara watched the shaking bush in amazed silence for a little while, and then politely averted their eyes. "We might as well build a fire, since I brought marshmallows." Van said, picking up a stick. "We'll be waiting a while, since dragons like to take their time with this sort of thing."

ooooo

The sun was getting low on the horizon when Hiei, slightly tousled but fully clothed, stalked out of the bush, sat down by the fire, and began gobbling the marshmallows. Kurama followed not long after, a little torn and walking stiffly, and wearing a big silly grin on his face. His expression was that of one who has just had his brains screwed out. "Wow." He muttered, accepting a toasted marshmallow from Yuusuke, "We have _got_ to do this more often!"

Hiei might have given a growl at this point, but it was hard to tell. It's difficult to sound menacing when your mouth is full.

By the time they'd run out of marshmallows to toast, Hiei had crawled into Kurama's lap, buzzing like a kitten full of milk, and long shadows stretched away from a breathtaking sunset. A movement to the left of them attracted their attention; Kemuri was coming back. He came crawling over the ridges, exhausted but happy, and wearing Kurama's silly grin. Hiei shifted a bit in his sleep as the dragon reduced himself wearily back into a long tattoo on the firebaby's arm. Wordlessly, Van tore a strip off the hem of his shirt and wrapped the arm up again, even though the Kokuryuuha wouldn't be too hard to control until it recovered from its exertions.

"I believe our work here is done." Yuusuke said with a yawn, sitting up and scratching his back. "Let's go home. Coming, Kurama? Kurama? Oh, damn, he's gone to sleep too."

"I'll drop them off back at the apartment." Van reassured him, gently lifting the lovers up off the stone. "C'mon, get up Kuwabara. I can't carry all three of you without something disastrous happening."

Kuwabara protested, saying he wanted another five minutes, but the others insisted.

ooooo

They landed without incident on the familiar pavement of their neighborhood, and Yuusuke and Kuwabara went home. Van took a shortcut back to Kurama's apartment, where he laid the sleeping pair down on the bed and gently tucked them in. They shifted in their sleep as he did so, wrapping arms about one another and purring softly.

Van stroked their hair affectionately and turned to leave. "I think I will keep an eye on this pairing." He murmured very softly to himself. "Who knows? Perhaps this time, something will come of it. They certainly make a beautiful couple."

With that, he left for his own place, leaving his friends to their dreams.

end


End file.
